Tall story-The Not-So Nano Experience

Rudraksh gave a quick look to the man sitting in the car to his left. The man wore a terrible and horrendous looking shirt, some orange colored floral design with blue hued leaves. The man glanced at him pompously. And gave him an ‘I-have-a-car-too’ look. Yes, he was an average looking man and perhaps with a middle class stature. But Rudraksh thought why he was comparing his Nano with Rudraksh’s Skoda. Nearing five hours, he was stuck at the same place, moving not even at a snail’s pace.

With the advent of Nano, the traffic scene of Mumbai had totally changed, he estimated. Three years had passed by and the Nano-fever didn’t die down. He heard a buzz that the cost was being reduced to fifty thousand. Now, how ridiculous was that? And incredible!! Penguin-ed taxis and rickshaws had once ruled the lanes of Mumbai. Now they had become as extinct as horse ridden chariots. Now it was Nano…

He heard a woman screaming loudly. Someone said she was in her labors. Well, nothing to fret about, there were mobile hospitals everywhere, considering the frequent traffic jams at every nook and corner of Mumbai. To his left, he saw this couple kissing amorously. Who could wait now-a-days?

Yesterday he himself had indulged in car flirting. Stuck at the same place for hours, he had seen this gorgeous looking gal and had the most shortest affair of his life. He had even implanted a mobile coffee maker in his car!! Just in case… They hadn’t concealed anything personal as such, but then four hours didn’t seem like eternity with her, as they seemed today.

Peeping ahead he saw a noble woman sharing her food with a beggar. Queer, he thought but not as bizarre as some people starting up classes like ‘learn basic German in just two hours. Just Rs.500. Credit facilities unavailable. Advanced can be learnt provided you meet us at the same place and same time.’

As he looked up, he saw at least a dozen of Nanocopters flying away, making unbearable noises. Maybe Mr. Tata or Bajaj… Perched at sky-scraping heights were the Nano-pads for the landing. Well, even the helicopters went cheaper!!! He himself was in a process to buy one. Why endure this agony every single day? He overheard someone say that there had been an accident just 2 minutes ago, which was really eccentric because a vehicle has to have a ‘movement’ to cause a mishap!!! He adjusted his seat, pulled it backwards and decided to catch up on his lost sleep……

TALL STORY-THE INVASION

There was a buzz of apprehension in the air. The feeling was contagious. Every member of Mr. Srinivasan’s four headed family had their eyes stuck upon the door.
Mr. Srinivasan had so much craved for a good storage place, so that his small house could look somewhat spacious. Clothes were strewn around, books stacked one upon another, toys always coming in way making them fall at every step.

As soon as he had laid his eyes on the cupboard, he had vowed himself to work hard and endeavor like a Trojan. After some four or five months he had succeeded in arranging three months installments for the much awaited purchase.

He had paid them the amount today morning and they had assured him that the cupboard would be home delivered by 5 in the evening. It was nearing to 4.59 as the members had their eyes and ears alarmed. A sound of bell and every one gave a sigh of jubilation. The men placed the furniture at the said place. It was their moment of bliss. But Mrs. Srinivasan saw that her husband had a pensive look on his face. She asked him and his reply in one word “The Invasion” alarmed her too. But she said, “Don’t worry, that won’t happen again. It happened four years ago. All the bad things which had to happen have transpired.”

This brought a feeling of relief in his mind and soon after the “happiness intoxication”, the family slept peacefully. Mr. Srinivasan woke up and wanted his first sight to be his new acquisition. What he saw was a heap of dust and he cried….it was the invasion again, yet again…the invasion of white ants….

UN-REST IN ‘PEE’S

Men pee anywhere and everywhere.

Bus stops, railway stations, in and around gutters, at the back of a wall, behind a BIG tree- you name a place in India and some man must must must have ‘pee’d there.

THE SITUATION: Controlling the flow becomes so impossible, it must pass out…glance around…a ‘pee’k-a-boo… is anyone seeing ???…turn your back…a hand on a side of waist…zip off the fly and yeah,…suddenly everything is paradise…heaven…

I hate it..I hate it…I hate it..and I don’t know why I am making such a big fuss out of men peeing anywhere…

Maybe I have been seeing this really disgusting site almost everyday…I go to my bus stop and there’s this big tree near-by…every time I go there. I see a man peeing..behind that poor tree. I mean look at it. Why do they have to do this? There are so many public toilets around or what they call as ‘shauchalyas’, and at least in Mumbai I can assure, you will find a public toilet at every railway station. Now is that too difficult? Why do these people have to get so desperate? Why?

That stench I have to bear everyday!!! Wall-written messages and Graffiti end up in fumes!!! Every wall in Mumbai bears this message ( Now, now not every wall but sporadically if you consider) – ‘Yaha toilet karna mana hai’ and for the ease of it, its written in Hindi and a much worse term is used for ‘toilet’. Still, men will pee on that message!!! Pee, pee, pee till that ‘mana’ vanishes!! Yeah…talk about being sadists in their own way…

When will someone do something about it?? Do you find any woman doing this? I mean, see consider that a woman did do this, what would have been the reaction?? She would have been in jail, or she would have been made to pay some high penalty for sure. Peeing in public for women would essentially be considered as an attempt at ‘nudity’..d’uh!!!!
(sorry for the diversion, I didn’t mean to take this topic to gender issues, but this is one!!!)

I showed this article to my dad and he said- Let ‘pee’s prevail
I said- Let ‘pee’s be with you….

I LIVE ON THE STREET

Morbid fears pull me apart,
As I count the stars in the sky,
I know I won’t sleep tonight,
Hunger and thirst make me cry.

Morsels of food, I pick up from lanes,
Cos my stomach cries out in pain.

Tatters of rags, I pick up at random,
As they are fragile, I wear them seldom.

I sink everyday in my siblings’ tears,
In act of defiance, I pretend I don’t hear.

My throat parches up, as the summer heat grows,
I have no water to drink,
Is anyone listening to my woes?

I am drenched, as the sky pours down,
No canopy, no shelter above my head,
And in the maelstrom, am about to drown.

Praying fervently, that something thaws me,
I clatter, I shiver and turn blue in winter,
Do you feel? Do you see?

I live on street,
My abode’s my sky,
I live on street,
Someday, someone will run a car over me and lemme die!!

THE GOOD OLD WORLD OF CARTOONS

There’s nothing in this world, nothing which can be compared to the times we spent as a child…aah childhood!!! I guess as we grow old, we let some things pass by, we leave some things behind, like throwing tantrums, licking the melted chocolate that ran down the elbow, the fake tears could accomplish almost anything in the world, the incessant pampering by grannies, the rampant litanies to god praying him to make us ‘old’ enough to be independent and yeah,cartoon cartoons!!!

Cartoons-gee, I loved them so much!! Back from school, just sit before the television!!…and get lost amidst the web of cartoons. Wish there was such thing as TOONLAND...
And TODAY I became so nostalgic that I listed my favorite cartoons of all times:

· DEXTER’S LABORATORY: Remember ‘deedee’? This cartoon was based upon the child prodigy Dexter, who was repeatedly irritated by his sis ‘deedee’. It was so funny to see how his sister tortured him at every moment and ruined his experiments!! Didn’t we all sisters kind of learn from her? To make our sibling’s life miserable?

· X-MEN: I was totally in love with that laser eyes mutated guy!! Shit, I don’t even remember his name!!

· JUSTICE LEAGUE: the greatest amalgamation of all the superheroes. I totally loved this series!! And if you can remember the theme music, wasn’t it melodious? The series was so much filled with everything-action, love, and humor!!

· SPIDERMAN: Don’t ask me why!!

· CAPTAIN PLANET: I can still sing the song you know!! Captain planet, he’s the hero!! What cool fight he laid against environment degrading monsters!!

· THE REAL ADVENTURES OF JOHNNY QUEST: What I remember of this cartoon is that, there was a bunch of guys and gal and even a dog, who used to wear some goggles that would transfer them into another world and were they would wage a war against their enemies!! And I also remember that I was totally hooked to this cartoon… the theme music was excellent.

· THE BUGS BUNNY: The mere mention of the name makes me laugh!! Extremely funny, hilarious to the core, with a bunch of one-liners, this was sure to die for.

· THE ROAD RUNNER: Bee-beep. I used to sympathize with the opponent. Poor thing!!

· RICHIE RICH: I always thought if I had a boyfriend like him…. ;)

Well, there’s nothing like those genre of cartoons they used to make those days. Present day cartoons have reduced to an unbearable, ludicrous, and illogical heap of shit..except for some cartoons like Sponge bob Square pants and Avatar. And if this is not enough, they have this dumb Hindi translation(Gawd, they call Griffindor-Garud-dwar in Hindi...yuk!!! They can stick to the original names na??) The Avatar (If you haven’t seen it, see it now!! Trust me) was fantastic. They stopped showing even that…..pch….pch….

So which cartoons did u love or still do????CIAO!!

TAGGED AGAIN!!!- BY ZAHID

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it –
I have a scar on my left leg, below the knee. Don’t remember how I got it!!


2. What does your phone look like? –
Hmmmm…it’s a 5200!!! Blue and White in color

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom? –
My brother’s guitar, my book shelf (containing my beloved German books), a good luck charm of an oval shape bought specially from Germany!!

4. What is your current desktop picture? –
A picture of Dilwara temples ( Since I had been to Udaipur this year)

5. . Do you believe in gay marriage? –
Am ambivalent about it..

6. What do you want more than anything right now? –
A freelance journalist’s job!! A novel which I can call mine!! then…ahggh…there are many things right now in my mind…

7. Are your parents still together? –
In fact, they will be celebrating their silver jubilee coming May!!

8. Last person who made you cry? –
Sophiel!! She’s my best friend..we had a real bad fight…so I cried

9. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
Ah!! Perfumes…I love them!! My favorites are Tommy Girl and Azalee. And yes I also like what they call as ‘itra’

10. What are you listening to? –
My mom screaming at me!!!

11. Do you get scared of the dark? –
If I see some spooky movie, then I do. Otherwise nopes!!

12. Do you like pain killers? –
You ask as if it’s some kind of cuisine!!! Why should you ‘like’ them!!
13. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
No, I am not.

14. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? –
Nothing to eat, but right now I am craving for a glass of iced tea!!!

15. . Who was the last person who made you mad? –
My 3 year old cousin named Divyash!! Gawd, the mischievous sprite he is!!

16. Who was the last person who made you smile?
Same person!! I love him so much!!! I bought a T-Shirt for him (He can be quite a sycophantic when he wants something!!), and he gave me a big wide smile…

17. Is someone in love with you? –
Everyone around me is!! Well, if not, I like to think that!!



Thae tag passes to anyone who hasnt been tagged yet!! cheers!!