Monday, March 24, 2008

The Weeping Couch Potatoes

They are the propagators of various anti-cultural and stupid and unbelievable and illegal acts like polygamy ( still no one gets caught), pre-nuptial sex (everyone in the family does that, its hereditary, genetic and a tradition), and the most hip girl of the family running off with her driver.
They slap one another, kill one another(yes, they do that, without anyone finding out !!) Their lives have more twists than a packet of pretzels with that ear splitting music in the background!!

The male members of their family can make an ulti-multi-multi million crore rupees deal with a wave of their hand (Whoever said that Ambani was the richest man on earth?) and other day they are in slum..trying to eke out a living.

And on the other side, the female members are portrayed as so “full” of “moral” and “ethical” values, that they can make a nun look like a whore(apologies, only humor content)…and then the next day, one of the unmarried girl is pregnant…

Crying is their passion, sometimes you can’t distinguish whether they are tears of happiness or glum!!…their glycerin purchase and usage charges are more than the production cost of the entire set, even after its burnt and destroyed

200 years-yes my fellas, 200 is the life expectancy of every member in the family ( well, science IS progressing and how!!!) unless and until they are assassinated by their own brothers and sisters or maybe they fall off a cliff… and then….

Every month a member of a family dies, then “resurrects” in their own avatar, but with plastic surgery done. (Yes, ladies and gentleman, present generation plastic surgery is very cheap and affordable, so much that you can have them done every month!! And peepuls, this is not it, you can feasibly alter your height and weight too!!! Really!!)

They celebrate something everyday…. So to save their time to adorn themselves again and again, they sleep and wake up in the festive saris and make-up too…Did any one say that sleeping with make-up is harmful…?? Not for them…in their families, even a sixty year old woman wont get a freckle on her face.

A villain who has a long hair, a typical identity habit, like sniffing or an ‘aha’ in background for women…main female protagonist wear earrings akin to clothes hanging on a hanger…and even if this is not enough for gaining TRP’s, they introduce a gay character…

They have Hindi dialogs which make no sense(to me), even Premchand can be put to shame…

bangs head

(well you know who I am talking about, cant reveal the name man…for security purposes…;) and the people who see these sitcoms are referred to as the weeping couch potatoes..)



· What’s with our National Insignia? Hockey is going to pits and national animal is dying!! I guess PETA ambassadors posing naked isn’t helping much….

· Finished with my exams!! Two months of long vacation. I am in a dire dire need of freelancing job…anyone hiring?? I read of a Japanese bar dancer who used to blog, becoming an actress or something…she gets 20,000 visitors every week…

· Why are novels being sold on such high prices? Why? And when I buy from streets, people say I encourage piracy (as if the authors aren’t getting enough royalty..d’uh) Ah, Chidambaram, do something about this also yaar!!

· Finally, I have decided to do MBA *sighs *

· Its 500 degrees outside…please peepuls, use sunscreen ;)

· Please, please pray my German class begins…I was never so desperate to study!!

· I have been thinking of hitting the gym since the past 8 months and not once did my fake determination turn into a reality. On being repeatedly asked by my dad for not exercising- Dad, I don’t have tracks!!..when he bought me tracks, Dad, I have no company..L..other excuses-Dad, I got up late (as if people don’t go to the gym in eves!!)…ugh, dad I got exams coming up…Dad, er..i worry if the guys will start ogling me (oh yeah, I am this really doe eyed beauty with amazing lush great hair), Dad, I hear the instructor is a big flirt…*winks *….I don’t understand whats wrong with taking a walk in the garden rather than on that electric machine, sans fresh air!!

· Everyone’s talking about roadies!! Hope Prabhjot wins..!!!



I don’t go with Zahid telling- every tag is special!!! Every blog I visit, someone is tagging and someone is being tagged!!! And I have practically stopped reading tags, I am actually saturated!!

8 facts tag will tell you that the person is oh-so-drooling about chocolates, cant live without them, loves music, likes sleeping, loves books, is a movie buff, is an orkut addict, hates something, loves something/one excessively, hates studying, wants to be something…yeah I know that…tell me something really really eerie and weird bout yourself!!!

Then there’s this musical tag which will never give any proper answers to what has been asked..(sorry Zahid, the harder I tried to synchronize the shuffled songs with the questions, the more stupid answers I wrote!!)..and this tag gives you the chance to display your oh-so-I-listen-to-rock-and-only-rock-and-no-Hindi-songs-please erudition!!

Oh then there are those “book” tags asking what books you are reading currently,* oh-you-know-I-read-booker-prize-nominees-and-winners-and-even-though-I-don’t-understand-what-the-book-meant-I-loved-it-WHAT???-YOU HAVENT HEARD OF IT?-Well-then-you-are-such-a-geek-who-hasn’t-surpassed-Enid-and-Nancy-grow-up-kid * which books touched your heart and soul *no, I didn’t like THE Alchemist, in fact, I got so bored, I couldn’t even complete it *….and then the “blog” tag with questions like do your parents know about your blog(there are many many things parents shouldn’t know!!)

Why does someone want to know where a scar of a person is? And WHY does someone want to know HOW he got it? Now tell me, what if the scar is in an unmentionable part of your body, what do you tell? And how did you get that??…What what what??

Why does someone want to know whether I believe in gay marriages? Now, what does “believe” mean? A friend of mine once pointed out what a priest would say during such marriages, “I now pronounce you as husband and husband/ wife and wife” !!!

Now, if someone says “Is this okay” what do you say?…..what kind of a freaking question is this? “what is 2+2”,…d’uh…shit, its so damn difficult yar…I find derivatives and integration so much easier!! *!@#$$%^&* I lost my calculator!!*