Sunday, April 13, 2008

SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOSE...

An interview with the most famous nose digger of all times: Mr. Leon. He is considered a legend in the field of nose-digging and as a pioneer of the same. His 18,900 page thesis on nose digging has successfully found its place in The Indian Library. Here’s a tête-à-tête withThe Snout Prodigy.”

Me : What are the possible ways in which one can dig their nose?

Leon: Having researched on this topic for 20 years, I have found that with the evolution of man there was also an evolution in nose digging methods. While the Neanderthal man who didn’t have enough tools used their index finger most of the time, it is found that the modern day man uses fingers, pens, pencils and other round objects which can comfortably be shoved up into the noses.

Me: (itch in my nose): Aren’t pens and pencils supposed to be tools for writing?


Leon: Of course they are still!!! Now, imagine you are in the middle of some very important work which requires the use of pen in it. And then the itch begins. And you know how horrendous it can be, to bear the prickle in your nose. You feel like going inside your nose, and scratch and scuff until you are satiated. At the same time, you don’t want to smear your hands. What is the best next alternative? Do it with your pen!!!

Me: (restrains): Such amazing observation, I must tell. But tell me, isn’t it embarrassing to dig your nose in someone’s presence?

Leon: Well, the world has advanced so much, you know. People no longer think what others will think of them. I don’t know why “ethics” are attached to “nose-digging”. I consider it as a natural process. Still you would be surprised to know, according to my statistics, 25% of the people prefer digging their noses in toilets, 10% by placing their heads down, 15% when they are alone in their homes, 20% while traveling especially in buses, 5% while reading and talking on the phone,5% sniff hard so that the itch goes away and 20% in front of everyone.. You know a student of mine said an amazing thing on nose digging:

Nose digging, as it is termed as dishonorable and immoral and unethical when you are in a social congregation, is in fact just a way of cleansing the body of all the defilement one has. Don’t you shit? I would also like to mention that it is much better than farting in public. While farting has its own disadvantages like polluting the ambience and the emission of Methane, whose stench we all know is excruciating, Nose digging has no such effects.

Me: (sniffs with the hope that the itch will go away): Very well said. What is it in nose digging that attracts you so much?
Leon: Oh, there are so many aspects!!! I can just go on raving about this topic!!
I love the expressions on people’s faces when they dig their nose. I have so many snaps taken!! They are hilarious, most of the people widen their eyes, while their faces are elongated, the mouth gapes and voila, the finger is in the nose!! Then I observe in which direction they throw the removed dreg. Some of them just throw it carelessly, some throw it wherever they are seated, some will wipe it up on their clothes, and others will “introspect” the dreg as if it is some object of exploration!! Now you say, isn’t this all so mesmerizing?

Me (grows restless): Indeed, it is!! What happens to the noses of people who don’t have hands?
Leon: *Tears well up in his eyes * : I have so much sympathy for these people, the poor things are devoid of the pleasure of digging noses with their own hands and have to be dependent on others. Tell me, what satisfaction do these people get? But I am taking the help of technology for providing the liberation from “itch” for these people…

Me (gets up): Thank you for the interview!!! I didn’t know nose digging was such a dynamic topic.
Leon: My pleasure, if at all you wish to study on this topic, I have three institutes for a certified course on nose digging.

Me( runs to the toilet!!!)…..

Title courtesy : (Om Prakash Makhija)

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26 Comments:

At April 14, 2008 at 12:41 PM , Blogger ÕHARINIÕ said...

hey cool post... long time since i read ur blog.. had fun reading it thought i dont dig my nose often :p

 
At April 15, 2008 at 4:06 AM , Blogger Macadamia The Nut said...

LOL! I bow to you oh hillarious one! :D Awesome 'interview'. Viva le snot! hehe!

 
At April 16, 2008 at 3:27 PM , Blogger Sougata said...

Hey fodu blog!!! , The Tagonomics post just superb .

 
At April 17, 2008 at 8:06 PM , Blogger Patchez said...

Wow!

This one was asmuch an awesome in(the nose)sight as much as was Leon's!

;) you made it so very stark tho.. :(

 
At April 18, 2008 at 3:04 PM , Blogger rahman said...

Hey hi!
I just just wandering around and was quite surprised to end up on a blog with the same name as mine
:D

Your post was outrageous dude!
Rock on.

 
At April 18, 2008 at 8:35 PM , Blogger manisha said...

@ OHARINIO: wat does ur name mean? thnx a lot...keep dropping by...but u do dig??

@MACA...: wow i feel like....m floating on clouds...*jumps wid gayness*...thnx wat does viva le snot mean?

@SOUGATA: fodu...wow..such praises i love them..thnx..

@patchez: d purpose of writing dis post was to make dis topic really stark!!

@RAHMAN: same name?? cool...thnx!!!

 
At April 18, 2008 at 9:56 PM , Blogger SambY said...

if u ant to read what men want ...then do leave ur id at my blog or mail me at vishvsambyal@gmail.com....

 
At April 19, 2008 at 3:42 AM , Blogger Ghost writer said...

Hilarious!!! good post .... one of the funniest posts i have come across in a long time :)

 
At April 19, 2008 at 5:48 AM , Blogger morinn said...

This post is awesome! I laughed my nose out loud while reading it! great interview! looking forward for me.
btw i'm a regular secret nose-digger

 
At April 20, 2008 at 6:03 PM , Blogger Matangi Mawley said...

i was having my first sip of coffee whn i started reading the post..

.............

i finished reading it.. my table is spilled with coffee..
i m laughing n crying as an effect of laughing.

 
At April 20, 2008 at 11:30 PM , Blogger nefariousoutlook said...

hahahahahaaha....simply brilliant!!!

 
At April 20, 2008 at 11:35 PM , Blogger τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

nowadays my nossy get dried fast.. so i found ur post quite useful :P

 
At April 23, 2008 at 2:45 PM , Blogger jagadeesh said...

Yucky beauty! :P

 
At April 23, 2008 at 5:27 PM , Blogger Standbymind said...

Coooool ;)
liked it!

 
At April 24, 2008 at 4:20 PM , Blogger Payal said...

lol
nice one

 
At April 26, 2008 at 12:53 AM , Blogger Pallav said...

n i thot u were far 2 busy about the dimples on ur nose to worry about digging...real hilarious tho....nice one!!!howz the calligraphy cumin along?

 
At April 26, 2008 at 4:17 AM , Blogger Macadamia The Nut said...

I was cheering the Snot
:|
:D

 
At May 8, 2008 at 12:21 AM , Blogger the basu said...

heylo!this be anything but cliched!
this be original..n yes bherry funny!:)
nice blog!

 
At May 16, 2008 at 2:14 AM , Blogger vijay said...

never thought someone took it so seriously... woooo

 
At May 22, 2008 at 3:38 PM , Blogger Ab said...

hehe... hahaha

well, anyway, scratching yourself (wherever)is a feeling equal only to yourself.... too bad it is considered taboo!

btw, long time... was on an exam break....

 
At May 30, 2008 at 7:23 AM , Blogger Sujoy Bhattacharjee said...

that was seriously hilarious....nice stuff...
BTW when will be ur next post??

 
At June 6, 2008 at 1:16 PM , Blogger ♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

OMG!! lol!

 
At July 1, 2008 at 9:07 AM , Blogger Siddharth Joshi said...

i've written about such shit too!! chk my blog!!

 
At July 9, 2008 at 3:14 PM , Blogger abha said...

hahaha...enjoyable!

 
At July 24, 2008 at 9:39 AM , Blogger shamanth said...

oh my god!!!

that was hilarious!!!

rotfl!!!

good observation about how different people behave while and after digging their noses!!! lolz!!!

how about a post on the itch in the ears??? :D

 
At July 7, 2009 at 12:07 AM , Blogger As the Mind Meanders said...

Now where do we go from here.. scratching of the butt or is already in here somewhere...

Hmmm.. Now how would Thakur scratch his nose... this worries you doesn't it...

Jokes apart... you want us to go back to being us... don't you...

 

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