There's So Much To Live For

Walking through the boulevard, green precincts, under the faint and but mind captivating moonlight, the cool zephyr blowing her curls-That’s what she enjoyed. Much to her resentment there was only solitude that lacked. She wanted to be just alone, forlorn, away from the hungry eyes of men.

Yes, she thought to herself, that she herself had chosen this path. Sleeping with men and earning something in return only for her children’s survival. Poor children, with the stigma of "illegtimacy" . She didn’t even know who their father was. She desperately wanted to be with herself. She wanted to feel the air that touched her, she wanted to breath, and most importantly she wanted to live. Live a life that she only dreamed of.

Every night meant death and every morning resurrection of her spirits. ‘People die once, I die every night,’ she thought. She moved ahead, plucking up a rose and smelling it and realized that she almost forgot how it smelled. What she remembered was the smell of the dingy cottage she was given, where every night men reincarnated in the form of hounds would pounce upon her, their starving claws boring callously in her body. The only good part about the job was that she was paid for it-the only thing that could support her three member family.

She knew people like her had no respect in the society. What was she-a prostitute, slut, hooker, or a whore? Why wasn’t she called a woman? A simple word-woman. So deep and meaningful. So considerate and respectful. The society has always had this preconceived notion about woman- married, housewife and the caretaker of their children. Wasn’t she a woman? This unanswered question drove her crazy.

Walking with these inescapable thoughts she reached a deep valley. Maybe I have no reason to live, otherwise why would god lead me to this road? Her children’s face came across her mind in a flash.

Dream.

She felt some harsh movements of fingers on her body. She opened her eyes. The same ravenous eyes.
“Who sent you?” she asked.
“Does that matter?” he asked flinging a big bunch of money on her face.
“No, but…” she continued.
“Pecuniary interest… think ..u can’t refuse this much money...can you?”
"I can't do this....uh...."
…………..she remembered her daughter telling her how much she wanted a new dress to wear…….and she died again that night….

She resisted the temptation,
But she still gave in,
She realized what she did was wrong,
She realized what she did,
was against every proposed good thing,
She wished to look into the eyes of death,
then it struck-
THERE’S SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR…